Ask for a discount where the seller sets the price, and pay the tag where a policy does. That one distinction settles almost every question of etiquette, because it is not about how much you want the thing: it is about whether the person in front of you has the authority to say yes.
Who can actually say yes
A volunteer at a thrift store register cannot vary a price set by head office, and asking puts them in the position of refusing something they might privately agree with. An independent dealer on a Saturday stall can say yes, and often wants to, because a modest discount beats carrying the jacket home. The question is not whether the price is fair. It is whether the person you are asking owns it.
Online, the same logic runs through a different mechanism. On eBay a seller has to have enabled Best Offer for an offer to exist. On Vinted, Depop and Mercari the offer button is the mechanic and using it is not rude. On Poshmark, an offer to likers is routine and an offer left in the comments is not.
Where to ask, and how much is reasonable
| Where you are | Is an offer expected? | A reasonable ask |
|---|---|---|
| Flea market, last hour | Yes | Often a meaningful discount, or a bundle price |
| Independent vintage shop, quiet weekday | Often | A modest discount or a round-down on a bundle |
| Charity thrift chain register | No | Nothing: bands are set centrally and staff cannot move them |
| Charity shop boutique cabinet | Rarely | Nothing at the register, though a plain fault is worth pointing out |
| eBay Best Offer | Yes, where the seller enabled it | A reasonable offer below asking |
| Vinted, Depop, Mercari | Yes, the button is the mechanic | A modest offer, more on bundles |
| Estate sale, final day | Yes, and usually welcome | Often large, since leftovers are a removal problem |
Read the same table from the seller side and the numbers explain themselves. On a commission platform like Poshmark, a big discount can wipe out the seller's margin. On Vinted, where the buyer pays the protection fee, any discount comes straight out of the seller's pocket. A modest offer to you is a different size to them depending on where you are standing. Platform rules matter here too: Poshmark releases payment to the seller automatically if no return case is opened within 3 days of delivery.
How to make an offer that gets a yes
- 1
Bundle before you bargain
"Would you take $40 for these three" is easier to accept than three separate negotiations, because the seller moves one number and clears three items.
- 2
Name a figure, not a feeling
"What is your best price" puts the work on them and invites a token concession. A specific number plus a reason gives them something to answer.
- 3
Anchor on a real defect
A missing button, a re-stitched hem, a faded collar and a dead zipper are genuine deductions. "I only have $20" is a fact about you.
- 4
Counter once, then decide
One counter-offer is negotiation and three is a game. If the counter lands inside your range, take it and pay warmly. If not, say thank you and leave.
- 5
Pay in the way that costs them least
At a market, cash avoids the card fees that eat the discount you just won. Online, never move off-platform for a lower price: it removes your buyer protection.
Timing does more work than technique
The last hour of a market, the final afternoon of an estate sale and the closing days of a season are when a seller's calculation changes, because the alternative stops being a full-price sale and becomes carrying stock home. A dealer at four in the afternoon is a different negotiator from the same dealer at nine in the morning.
The inverse holds too. Opening with a lowball at nine in the morning, in front of other shoppers, gives a seller every reason to hold firm, because the price is now a public position for the rest of the day. Be early for the good stock and late for the good price, and never both at once.
Five places where an offer is built in
Each of these has an offer mechanic inside the platform, so naming a number is a normal move rather than a favor. Prices are shown only where we confirmed them on the brand or retailer page in Oct 2026.
Best for one-offseBay
Best Offer listings, clothing
The deepest stock anywhere for specific vintage labels, and the easiest place to make a structured offer. Sellers who enable it expect to move on price.
Browse Best Offer
Vinted
Items with offers enabled
On Vinted a discount comes straight out of the seller's pocket. A modest ask gets accepted far more often, and a bundle is where the room is.
Search Vinted
Depop
Offers on 1990s and Y2K stock
Listings here are more often priced to negotiate, and bundling is the strongest lever: a seller clearing three items can give more than one moving a single.
Search Depop
Mercari
Listings quiet for 90 days
A listing unsold for three months usually belongs to a seller with a fixed idea rather than a fixed price. With a seller fee, an offer needs room in it.
Search Mercari
Poshmark
Offer to likers on designer stock
The commission means a large discount can cost the seller their whole margin, so offers work best on stock that has been listed a while.
Search PoshmarkWhen not to ask at all
Skip the offer when the price already sits well under the sold median, when the tag says firm, when a line is forming behind you, and when the money goes to a charity. In those cases the discount is a few dollars and the cost is a slightly worse afternoon for somebody else, which is a poor trade at any price.
